I still can’t believe that you are no longer alive. I constantly
expect to see you, to hear from you – it’s as if I forgot
That you are d e a d
I feel detached and lifeless – a jumble of torture and numbness
the pit and the pendulum: brief, yet regular moments of intensity
where the blade/reality comes so close I can almost – yet
not quite – feel it. Then it continues its pass onward.
I know it will return and that next time it will be even closer.
1995-0405